Drunken Laps
by moonlight.gabriel
Summary: Eight shinigamis, a whole lotta sake, an obstacle course and why not? We'll throw in some hado and shunpo as well. Combine and you get a cornucopia of chaos and humour! Complete
1. Chapter 1: Ready, Set, Go!

**Note:** This story is tied in with my first story "Senbazuru". No, you don't have to read it to get this story but if you like Hitsuhina please do :D This takes place during the Senbazuru story line.

**Discalimer:** I do not own Bleach (by Tite Kubo)

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**Chapter 1 - Ready Set Go! **

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Matsumoto was bouncing up and down on her seat like an impatient child waiting for something exciting to start, and boy was she ready to start. She glanced at the other people seated down at the table. Kira and Hisagi were locked in an arm wrestle, both having the attention span of a three-year-old. On second thought, make it a Yachiru on a sugar high. Shunsui had his straw hat tipped down and his legs propped up on the table. In his mouth was a piece of wheat; he must've found a non-poisonous kind. Ikkaku, Iba and Ichigo were engaged in a violent battle of rock-paper-scissors, the latter of the three participating only after Ikkaku made fantastic use of the words "chicken" and "loser". Yumichika clucked his tongue in boredom before whipping out his cosmetic mirror and smoothing over his hair.

Matsumoto gave them all disapproving looks and shook her head, wondering what was wrong with them. The beautiful stack of glimmering bottles was sitting right in front of them, tempting the eight to just lose all control and guzzle down their glorious contents. Not a dime wasted too; all in the name of the game. Oh what a sight for sore eyes!

She deliberated on whether or not to just rush up there and drink as many as she could before being forcibly disqualified from the game. No, she must not give in to this temptation for the winner's prize made the stack before her eyes pale in comparison. She must wait with her newfound patience for the event to start. Ah, spoke too soon Matsumoto; waiting was never her strong suit anyway.

Yachiru bounced onto the little stage in front of them. She tried to reach the microphone but no matter how much she jumped, stretched and whined, she could not reach the little black speaking device; and yes, she was on the stand behind it to boot. She dashed off and returned a minute later dragging Kenpachi by his sleeve. It mustn't be very comfortable being dragged when you're hunched over like he was because lets face it, he's more than double her height!

She stopped him in front of the microphone and clambered up to her territory, his left shoulder. The elusive microphone was now in her reach! She swiped it from the stand and everyone covered their ears.

"HI HI SEIREITEI! YOU READY TO START?!"

No-one answered. Her voice was still ringing in her ears. Miraculously Shunsui was still asleep. He probably wouldn't even wake up if there was a myriad of elephants stampeding right on top of him. Granted he would be deader than dead, but that's beside the point!

"HEY! I SAID ARE YOU READY TO START?!"

Kenpachi grabbed the microphone out of her small hands and placed it back on the stand. "You're loud enough," he told her somewhat annoyed. The force of her voice made his hair tilt at an angle.

"Oh, okay Ken-chan!"

She cleared her throat.

"So is Seireitei ready to start?!"

Having realised that their ears were no longer endangered, the crowd cheered and hollered. Satisfied, Yachiru put up a hand to silence the crowd.

"It's the time you've all been waiting for! Get ready for the Winter Festival Sake Race!"

She stopped and turned to face Kenpachi, curiosity written all over her face.

"You know what Ken-chan? Why was Yachiru on the prohi-prohibi-ah ha! prohibiatationy list? Yachiru wants to try that sake stuff that makes people say funny things! And then when people say funny things, Yachiru can blackmail them like she did with peacock-head. And they get doofy smiles too! And sometimes they even go BAM on the ground and Yachiru can kick them for hours and draw on their faces and drag them on top of trees and-"

Kenpachi silently motioned for Nanao to take over the position of announcer. Clearly the pink-haired fukutaichou was too absorbed in her vivid monologue to continue.

"Sake Race is your basic racing competition. Now the rules are simple."

Wow. Nanao didn't waste any time…well only a little to wake Shunsui from his slumber. Now how did a stern voice and a book to the head wake up the sleeping taichou when the loudest shinigami failed to even make him twitch? Well Nanao had her ways. Satisfied with the growing lump on his head, she continued.

"The contestants," She looked at the people seated on the table. ",will all drink a pre-selected amount of sake before starting. You have to complete three full laps of the course but each time you finish a lap, you must drink another pre-selected amount of sake. Shunpo may only be used during the final lap. The first one to complete three laps wins. Participants will be automatically disqualified if they pass out, go around the obstacles or use shunpo during the first two laps. And NO killing or serious bodily harm.

She motioned for the sake to be placed out next to the starting/finishing line.

"Okay, contestants start drinking."

The eight walked out to where the sake was. Each of them had to drink a third of a bottle worth's of sake for the first lap. Kira looked from the sake in his hands and the obstacle course. Yumichika however, just shrugged before raising his sake towards Kira as if toasting him.

"Cheers."

He drank the contents followed a second later by Kira. Kira, being veteran drinker, had no problem holding the alcoholic substance down. Yumichika on the other hand, being a novice, had a bit more trouble. He was swaying from side to side, his arms dangling limply. A far-off expression was on his face.

Matsumoto, Shunsui, Iba, Ikkaku and Hisagi all guzzled down their sake, still looking quite sober after doing so. No surprises; they drank on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Ichigo looked down at his still full cup of sake.

"Why am I even doing this?! I'm under-aged for the love o-"

"Hey Strawberry, you're not chickening out are ya?" Ikkaku said with a malicious grin.

A vein popped out on Ichigo's head and he downed the sake without a second thought. "Get ready to eat those words Cue Ball!"

"Who's gunna be eating huh Orangey?!"

Ikkaku marched towards Ichigo and clashed foreheads with him while gripping his wooden sword. All zanpakutos had been confiscated before the competition. It would be extremely dangerous to have people swinging weapons when drunk; amusing probably, but dangerous.

"For someone who doesn't have hair blocking their ears you sure suck at listening!"

"Wanna say that again?!"

Simultaneously they both grabbed each other's necks and proceeded to strangle the other before Nanao decided to intervene. Placing a hand on the back of their heads she smashed them together, nearly making their lips meet. They jumped away from each other clutching their throats and making hacking noises even though nothing really happened. No attention was given to their heads; you sort of get used to it after the first hundred smashes.

"Starting line," Nanao said without a hint of sympathy.

The eight lined up, some doing stretches and some waving and blowing kisses to the crowd (courtesy of Yumichika and Shunsui). The red light lit up with a _bing_, followed a moment later by the yellow light. A suspenseful second later the green light went off and with that the contestants.


	2. Chapter 2: Wartime Tactics

**Chapter 2 - Wartime Tactics **

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"And they're off! Eight contestants vying for the winner's prize! A year's worth of sake compliments of the Seireitei!" Isane was playing commentator for this year's race.

Fifty feet in and the contestants were faced with their first obstacle; a series of hurdles about two feet off the ground. Ichigo and Ikkaku were running full speed side by side, their shoulders grinding into each other, trying to shove the other away. They proceeded to jump over the hurdles without even looking at them. Iba cleared the first hurdle when something tackled hard into his back. He fell to the ground with an ungraceful "ACK!"

Turned out Yumichika in his inebriated state didn't notice the hurdles at all, therefore he tripped (gracefully I might add. After all, Yumichika was still Yumichika however intoxicated) right on top of the 7th division fukutaichou. They were in a very…interesting position. Iba watched in dismay as the other contestants rushed past him.

"Looking good there Iba!" shouted Hisagi

"Ohh, didn't know you rolled that way!" Matsumoto blew him a couple of kisses.

Kira merely gave him a jaunty wave and Shunsui tipped his hat off to him. Iba tried to pry Yumichika away from his legs, which he was now hugging so tightly that blood circulation was cut off.

"Get. Off. Of. Me." He tugged at the arms with each break in his words.

"But - _hic_ - Iba - _hic_ - hehe, Iba sounds like - _hic_ - baaa. Hehe, I like sheepies. They're - _hic_ - cuddlwy."

If even possible, Yumichika gripped Iba's legs even harder while snuggling into them. Iba had only one choice left.

"Hado no ichi! Shou!"

Due to the close proximity of the weakest of all hado, the blast sent Yumichika flying all the way to the other side of the race course. He smashed into one of the solid ice walls of the maze and was a bit bruised, but nonetheless he was in the lead. He gave Iba a grateful wave and went into the maze after smashing into the wall twice. Iba just picked himself up and ran, muttering profanities along the way. He was very behind.

"Aww, no fair! Prissy boy didn't even do anything!" Matsumoto whined as she climbed up the think rope net, the next obstacle on the course before the maze in which Yumichika was currently in (no doubt giving himself a concussion or ten).

"Ah, you know what they say Rangiku," Shunsui started to say.

"What?"

Matsumoto had finished climbing the net and was starting to cross one of two wooden planks stretched over a pool of shallow water. It was not in her desire to slip; the water would be freezing!

Shunsui did not answer her question so she just brushed it aside, concentrating on more important matters, like say not falling into the water perhaps? Only when she was halfway across did she hear Shunsui whisper in her ear.

"All's fair in love and war."

He used her surprise and gave her an all mighty push. Matsumoto swung her arms wildly, trying to stay balanced but alas it was not meant to be. She tumbled into the pool, shivering as she glared up at Shunsui who gave a mock bow to the cheering crowd before swiftly taking off. Matsumoto could hear a faint "damn" come out of Hisagi. Apparently if Shunsui has stayed there a bit longer he would have joined her as well.

"Ooh, some sabotage tactics from Kyoraku-taichou," Isane commented. "Don't catch a cold Matsumoto!"

Matsumoto scrambled up, cursing every bone in Shunsui's body as she tried to ignore her escalated shivering. The wind just had to pick up force now didn't it?! She ran through the mid-calf water, her feet quickly becoming numb, and manoeuvred around the rope net on the other side; the same net in which Kira was dangling off of because he had tripped.

A hundred meter sprint later and she dashed through the entrance of the fifteen feet tall maze, followed a couple seconds later by Kira who was now in last place. Thuds of varying volumes could be heard throughout the maze and following them, a string of curses that were all very loud. This maze wasn't your king sized labyrinth complete with untamed beasts threatening to devour your flesh, but it wasn't some "oh-turn-right-and-there's-the-exit" maze either.

"Looks like our contestants are all having trouble with the maze. C'mon! It's not that hard!" Isane yelled through the microphone.

"This. Wasn't…WHAT I HAD IN MIND!!" Ikkaku began to furiously beat the icy dead end wall with his wooden sword. A second later and he acquired ten new splinters and several wood chips.

Yeah sure, he first thought it was a straight forward race when he read the advertisement. Why should he care if he skimmed over the words 'sake' and 'obstacle' that preceded the four lettered word? A race was a race, a chance to beat fresh rivals and to gloat at the losers when standing on the winner's podium. Okay, so the obstacles had taken him aback a little he admitted. But obstacles were meant to test the strength and endurance of a man…or a woman in one of eight cases. Never did he think that he would have to do the unthinkable…never did Ikkaku think he would have to…USE HIS BRAIN!

"Yo Cue Ball, finally giving that brain of yours a good workout?" Ichigo smirked.

"I don't see you finding the damn exit!"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes in anger, a vein popping out, before quickly replacing the smirk back on his face. He stuck his nose up in the air and jabbed his thumb towards his chest.

"I'll be long gone when, oopps, I mean _if_ you make it outta here," he boasted.

Without even looking ahead of him, Ichigo made a mad dash to his left. He turned his head forward just in time to forcibly kiss the wall in front of him. He fell to the ground, moaning and clutching his face while Ikkaku's laughter rang loudly in his ear. Ichigo looked up with a hand rubbing his very red forehead and saw an Ikkaku in hysterics on his knees, a hand on the wall keeping the rest of his body from hitting the ground.

"Smart - haha - move genius - haha - you couldn't find - haha - find your way out - haha - of Yachiru's underpants! HAHAHAHAHA!!"

Ichigo was about to retaliate when he suddenly got a bright idea involving the crouched over Ikkaku and the wall behind him. Ikkaku looked up when he heard a loud stamping noise; Ichigo was running full out. Straight towards him!

"Whaddaya thi-"

Ikkaku never finished because it was at that precise moment that Ichigo stepped on his shiny head and used it as a foot up to jump over the wall. When Ichigo landed he looked up and saw the exit straight ahead of him. He smirked at the wall behind him as if it was Ikkaku and took off shouting.

"Too bad they gave you a shiny head instead of some brains!"

Ikkaku twitched and flipped himself up. He had a slightly bloody nose but that was nothing compared to the blood that was rising up to his head. He raised an angry fist up.

"That…little…PUNK!"

He drew his arm back and punched the wall once, twice, three times in quick succession. The whole wall came crumbling down, creating an icy waterfall. Ikkaku didn't even wait for everything to settle on the ground. He ran straight through it and after Ichigo.

"Too bad they gave you a mouth instead of some muscle ya shrimp!"

"Ikkaku literally tears through the maze and is coming out strong. Watch out Kurosaki!"

Ichigo looked back, his jaw dropping to the ground; Ikkaku was quickly catching up with him with a madden look on his face. Poor Ichigo. Not only was a deranged bald shinigami chasing after him but he completely forgot what happened the last time he ran without looking ahead first. Oh dear, it was only a moment ago too.

"Ooooohhhhh," the crowd moaned, some even wincing as a ball struck Ichigo in the side of the face, causing him to stumble backwards right in the path of another incoming ball.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Ichigo was on the ground, one hand on his red cheek looking at the many tetherball poles surrounding him, the balls' paths being controlled by several shinigamis on the sidelines.

"It looks like the tetherballs have driven Kurosaki into a state of shock," Isane said through the microphone.

Ichigo's ears perked up and he turned to face her, his head blowing up to very comical proportions. "I AM NOT IN SHOCK FROM A BUNCH OF STUPID BALLS!!"

Isane chose to ignore him, continuing with the commentary. "It looks like Ikkaku's catching up, no wait, he surpasses Kurosaki and is now in the lead. Seems like that got Kurosaki going again! Okay so it's Ikkaku in the lead, closely followed by Ichigo. After them, just clearing the tetherball field is Matsumoto, Hisagi and Kyoraku-taichou. Iba and Kira are making their way through the last portion of that field and Yumichika…come to think of it, isn't he out of the maze yet?"

**Back in the maze:**

Yumichika was standing in front of a dead end, not really caring that it was a dead end. He looked at his reflection in the ice and winked at it, striking a silly pose. He nearly fell over because he was still drunk.

"Oh lovely - _hic_ - I desperately need a three way mirror in my room."


	3. Chapter 3: Drunken Hado

**Chapter 3 - Drunken Hado **

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"And the contestants minus Yumichika are all on the last hundred meter stretch after making their way almost in one piece through the stakes. Guess you can't teach a strawberry new tricks ladies and gentlemen."

The crowd roared with laughter, the memory of Ichigo running straight into something yet again still fresh in their minds. Ichigo just picked up his pace and reached the small table to the side where their next portion of sake was waiting patiently for them. This time it was a half full bottle of the stuff.

Ichigo took one hearty swig, coughing and spluttering as the burning contents rolled down his throat. Matsumoto and Shunsui had already finished their bottle and were going for their second lap. They looked like they were still sober but if you squint you could see a light waver in their footsteps.

"Matsumoto and Kyoraku-taichou are in the lead and following them now are Hisagi, Kira, Ikkaku and Iba, all of whom drank their sake in record time. Some are starting to look drunk but most of you are holding it in very well. Kudos to you. Hmm, looks like Yumichika is walking out the entrance of the maze and ah, Kurosaki has finally finished his portion of sake. …Huh? What's this?"

Combined a teenager who has never consumed alcohol before in his entire life with nearly a bottle of sake that was drunken in the time span of seven minutes and you get what everyone was staring at; a very smashed Ichigo tottering on the course, flapping his arms like they were wings.

"Hahaha! You- You damn hurmdles can't beat me because I can fly! Weeeee! I am the all mighty Ichi-go Kuro- Kuro…what was it?"

Ichigo stood there with a finger on his lips, trying to figure out how to say his last name. He was swaying from side to side and started to hum when a light bulb went off in his head.

"Aha! I am the all mighty Ichigo Kurosake! Hehe sake, I could use sooolmme."

"It seems Kurosake, I mean Kurosaki is intoxicated. This could make things interesting."

Ichigo looked over his shoulder and waved excitedly at Isane. "Hey healer girl! I'ma gonna winit for you."

One step forward and BAM, Ichigo met face first with the ground. He weakly turned his head, a dazed expression on his face. For someone who looked like he was going to pass out, he was very loud.

"Hey healer girl! Kiss me better already!"

With a small groan Ichigo passed out, a goofy grin still present on his face. Isane was red from his remark. "Someone get him off the course. Kurosaki is officially disqualified. Good thing too." She muttered the last part under her breath.

Hisagi looked back to see Ichigo being carried off to the sidelines. Luckily he decided to look back when there was nothing in front of him to ram into. He went up the rope net for the second time and saw that Shunsui was just a little ahead of him.

_Perfect! Haha, this time I'll definitely push him in. Hmm, maybe Iba too._

He was wobbling a bit when he reached the platform but didn't bother to take that into account as he ran towards the 8th division taichou. Too bad he tripped over his own foot. Hisagi turned and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of, which happened to be Kira's sleeve. And like Jack and Jill they both tumbled straight down into the water. Actually Hisagi was the only one in the water; Kira landed right on top of him.

"There goes Hisagi AND Kira, their little fall effectively putting them in last place. IT'S THE OTHER WAY YUMICHIKA!"

"They should put them warmmings up. Hole equal falling." Kira used both hands to straighten his head as if it had dislocated during the fall. "Eh? The water's dry! Eheheheh dry water! …That's funny. Methinks I saw Isai-sanny." Kira scratched his head in confusion. "ISAI-SANNY! Oh no! What will poor Isai-sanny do without me?!"

Hisagi threw Kira off his back and the 3rd division fukutaichou landed on the side of the small pool of water. Hisagi was flailing about doing the antsy dance.

"COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!!"

"I found you Isai-sanny! Eh? Why are you wet? Didn't you find the dry water?"

Hisagi froze mid-dance to stare at his blonde friend. "Huh? Are you drunk already Kira?"

"NO SILLY! If I was drunk then I wouldn't remembery your name Isai-Isay. Hehe, Isai-Isay needs to learn drunkie logic…Eh? Why is Isai-Isay wearing wet clothes?"

"Because I fell in the water and couldn't get up because you were sitting on me!!"

"NO! I'M SORRY ISAI-ISAY! LEMME HELP! HADO NO SANJUUICHI-"

"W-wait a minute Kira!!"

"SHAKKAHOU!"

Poor Hisagi couldn't get away in time. He flew up in the air and landed violently on the table the contestants previously sat at. It effectively broke in half and there was a very nice Hisagi-sized depression in the ground. His skin was smoking slightly and he kind of smelled like half cooked meat. He dragged himself halfway out of the hole before slumping over.

"And it looks like Hisagi's out! Blown away by Kira's Shakkahou. Somebody go help him out of that hole please."

"I'LL DO IT HEALUR GIRL!"

Kira was waving his arm like a schoolkid and proceeded to help Hisagi - shunpo style. He tripped over Hisagi's arm and landed in the hole with a loud "offfh". After dragging himself up in the same manner as Hisagi did before, he grabbed said fukutaichou's hair and slung him over his shoulders.

"Kira, you are officially disqualified for using shu-"

BAM!

Isane looked towards her left at the wall Kira had just shunpo-ed into. He fell backwards onto Hisagi (poor guy never gets a break), eyes swirling.

"So-somebody help, ahhh…"

Everybody sweatdropped.

"Ah, well, that was an interesting turn of events. So we're down to five-no wait, four contestants. Looks like Yumichika was stampeded over. Medic squad front and centre."

The remaining four contestants were currently occupied with the maze again. Matsumoto just happened to stumble upon the large hole made by Ikkaku earlier and Shunsui just happened to be following her. They tripped over the chunks of ice several times before finally making it out.

**Meanwhile, back in the maze:**

Iba was not having a good time. He rammed into countless walls already and his head was starting to hurt. He turned a corner and saw Ikkaku down the other end. Likewise Ikkaku notice the three Ibas.

"Wha? Why are there three of 'em?"

Ikkaku rubbed his eyes and the three Ibas were replaced with an image of Ichigo. Iba started to back away when he saw the deranged look in Ikkaku's eyes.

"H-hey, you alright Ikkaku?"

"Hehehe, I found you at last. ICHIGO KUROSAKI!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

That would be the sound of Iba screaming as he ran away from Ikkaku who was chasing after him like a hungry cheetah.

"Hado no ichi! Shou! Hado no shi! Byakurai! AHHHHHH! HADO NO ROKUJUUROKU! SOUREN SOUKATUI!"

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Iba rapidly shot down the walls that blocked his path as he ran for his dear life, arms and legs pumping up and down. He must have been so panicked that his thinking was impaired tenfold because: One - who needs a level 66 Hado to destroy a wall? And Two - he completely forgot that he could have used Bakudo to restrain Ikkaku. Then he wouldn't have to run. Oh well, more fun for the spectators.

Iba's comical screams rang through the air along with Ikkaku's thunderous shouts (aka: threats). Iba did not want to see if he could be turned into a human pincushion. After blasting down several more walls did he finally see the exit.

"Yes! Freedom is mine!"

"Here comes the final two contestants after demolishing half the maze! Y-Hey! Give me back the mic!" Isane was chasing Yachiru around on the little stage trying to reclaim her precious microphone back.

Iba shot out of the maze with Ikkaku in hot pursuit. The bald shinigami was going faster than ever. Just when Iba thought he was done for, he tripped. That's right, he tripped and lucky for him he did because in turn Ikkaku tripped over him and collided into one of the cast-iron tetherball poles. As he slid down the pole, a rather large crack appeared on it.

It was ominously quiet for a moment. Then the pole began to fall.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed both Iba and Ikkaku.

Time seemed to slow down as the two tried to scramble away. Coincidentally the pole landed squarely on their backs. A sharp "ACK!" came out from both of them before they became still, an odd leg twitching from time to time.

"Wow! Pachinko Head and Toilet Guy went BAM!" Yachiru threw the microphone back to Isane who wasn't expecting such an action. She juggled the microphone in her hands, trying not to let it fall. Sighing when she finally had it steady, she noticed Yachiru jumping off the podium.

"Where are you going Kusajishi-fukutaichou?"

"Where else healer lady? I'm going to kick those two!"

"…Be sure to bring them here when you're done."

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Please review. I really appreciate it :D


	4. Chapter 4: Winner's Sake

**Chapter 4 - Winner's Sake**

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Matsumoto was weaving her way through the stakes, the last obstacle in her way before the final lap. Although, she had some trouble telling the wooden posts from Shunsui. Now how on earth did some stakes get flowery pink haoris? She kicked some random ones for good measure; she swore some of the many "Shunsuis" cried out in pain.

"WOAH! Hehe that was clo-OAHH!!"

Matsumoto narrowly avoided colliding into one of the Shunsui stakes only to ram right into the real thing. They both somersaulted down the remainder of the track, only stopping when they rammed into the table. It, along with their sake bottles, was sent flying into the air. Matsumoto was on top of Shunsui with little stars orbiting around her head.

WHOOSH!

She blinked. What was that? She could see something falling down. She sat up and placed both her arms in the air. A bottle of sake landed perfectly in each one. On closer inspection of the bottles she grinned. They were full! She waved them around in Isane's general direction.

"Is this the next one Ane-chan?!"

"Yes it is. This time you have to drink a whole bottle before the final lap."

"Excellent! Bottoms up!"

When the tip of the bottle was on her lips, she felt a tug on her sleeve.

"As much as I'm enjoying you on top of me my dear Rangiku, I'm sure I would enjoy my sake more."

She dropped the bottle down onto his head where it bounced off right into his hand. Not caring and still sitting on him, she resumed from where she was so rudely interrupted before. Shunsui whined and rubbed his head. Then he shrugged, propped himself up on an elbow and began to drink.

--

"AHAHAHA! I'MA GONNA WIN WIN WIN!"

Matsumoto was standing on top of Shunsui holding her right hand up with a V for victory sign. She had just finished her sake and it looked like she was well over drunk.

"NOOO! SHUNNI'S GONNA WIN WIN WIN!"

Shunsui had pushed himself off the ground, causing Matsumoto to tumble off him. He imitated Matsumoto's victory sign and grinned widely. He had just recently finished drinking as well and what do you know! Shunsui's plastered! Two drunk shinigamis, the final lap on an obstacle course and shunpo. This should prove entertaining!

"You noes Rangi-chan's gonna win Shunni! She'll even lets Shunni have a heady start!"

"No! Shunni will let Rangi-chan goes first!"

"Okay!"

Matsumoto shunpo-ed away and Shunsui stared at her in disbelief.

"NO FAIR! Shunni was just being gentlemanly! Nanao-chan! Sweet, dear, lovely Nanao-chan! Rangi-chan's being mean! Stop her!"

Nanao wasn't paying any attention. She was too busy hiding her face in embarrassment.

"Kyoraku-taichou better get moving soon, drunk or n-"

"HADO NO GOJUUSHI! HAIEN!"

Shunsui was so preoccupied with being frustrated with Matsumoto that he failed to realise said shinigami had just about finished the lap. The only thing standing in between her and the finish line was Shunsui, an obstacle to her you might say. And what does she do to obstacles? She blows them up of course, just like she did with the rest of them.

The hurdles were charred to the ground.

The net and plank structure looked very spiffy snapped in two.

The maze had been reduced to nothing but a giant puddle of water. If you squint you might be able to see an ice cube or two.

The tetherball poles were all alight in purple flames.

The stakes were nothing more than splinters.

And Shunsui was travelling in an upward direction at about a hundred miles per hour.

"And the winner of this year's Winter Festival Sake Race contest is Rangiku Matsumoto of the tenth division! Congratulations! You've won a year's supply of sake!"

Matsumoto looked like she had just won Miss Universe and floundered onto the stage. She draped her arms over Isane's and Nanao's shoulders.

"I'd just like to thank myself! Because I coulds have never EVER done it ifs I wasn't Rangi-chan! Oh Oh! Rangi-chan wants to thank Ane-chan for…she doesn't noes! Oh well! Let's have a sake party! WOOOOOOO!"

She grabbed an armful of her prize and began to throw them into the wild crowd. The spectators all jumped over the sidelines and loud music began to pump out of the speakers on stage. Isane and Nanao stayed in the safety of the stage, looking out into the party with dumbfounded expressions plastered on their faces. It seems that the year's worth of sake would be half gone by the end of this day. Guess it was safe to say that neither of them knew just how much Matsumoto could drink in a year. By the end this day, not even five percent would be consumed.

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Toshiro was walking back to the tenth division after carrying a sleeping Momo to her bed. He wondered what Matsumoto had gotten up to as he made to open the door. His eyes were closed and he sighed at the very likely thought of finding a passed out Matsumoto in the room.

KER-PLUNK!

Toshiro looked down to see and empty bottle of sake. He picked it up, wondering where it came from. He looked back up and froze as he saw the tightly compressed wall of bottles that was threatening to burst out of the doorway. His eye twitched as one name came to his mind.

"MATSUMOTO!!"

Wrong move Toshiro.

CLAAAAAASH!

The entire wall of sake bottle fell onto the poor taichou. Matsumoto stuck her head over the pile and saw his hand in the air, the only part of him that wasn't submerged in the pile of glass.

"Taichou? You shouldn't play around with glass. It's dangerous y'know."

"MATSUMOTO!" he yelled for the second time as he pulled himself out. "What exactly are all these bottles doing here?!"

Matsumoto grinned and waved around the half full bottle that was in her hand. Toshiro noticed that she was a little drunk but it didn't surprise him that she was talking somewhat normally.

"I won the contest! I won the contest!" she singsonged. "A year's supply of sake! A year's supply of sake! And all for me me me! Although I was being very nice and sharing it. Yes yes I was! Aren't you proud of me taichou?!"

Toshiro just stared in horror. A year's supply of sake meant a year's supply of headaches for him. And then some! It was all very quiet as Matsumoto stopped giggling to herself. She had a kind of pensive look on her face now.

"Matsumoto? Are you okay?"

"Hmmm, I don't know taichou. It's just that lately…"

"Yes?"

"Well I've had this question in my head for a long time but…I don't know…"

"What is it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Just hurry up and tell me!"

"Well…okay…I guess I should ask you this after all."

She looked at the bottle in her hand then up at him.

"Why are you so good at being short taichou?!"

Toshiro's face went red from anger as Matsumoto rolled on the ground laughing her butt off.

"MATSUMOTO!!"

**Owari**

* * *

Well Drunken Laps is done and done! Please REVIEW this story, thank you. Check out my fanfiction "The Bashing of Aizen-sama" for more laughs (well hopefully!), and Hitsuhina lovers check out: 9 Moments, Senbazuru, Birthday Lights and Once Upon a Time: The Little Mermaid. Thanks!


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